Will you still love me?
by JoyfulRiri
Summary: Is time enough to make you forget? Can love fade away when you go away? What Love truly means?Love is the ordinary moments you get to live with the people you care about. But is love enough to complete you? Set during "Post-Mortem Blues"
1. Chapter 1

**Hey,guys._ I know it's been propably a lifetime since I wrote a new chapter on my other fic,but please bear with me. This is just a little something I had in my mind since the end of "Beast's Obsession". Set during "Post Mortem Blues" so it may contain possible spoilers._**

**_Read,enjoy & review!_**

She walked out of the court room feeling confident. It had been a while since she had this feeling radiating from every cell of her. Her trial had been a cruel process. She had never thought that she would be in this position again after her conviction four years ago. Back then she was found guilty of a murder she had never committed and this time she heard the "not guilty" verdict for a felony she had indeed committed: perjury. She could have been convicted up to five years but instead her lawyer had managed to get her free for two thousands bail.

She felt uncomfortable sitting on the defendant's chair,so when the verdict was reached she shook hands with Counselor Rita Calhoun and hurried out of the room.

Her heels were echoing through the empty hallway as she walked to the exit doors. Her heart rate increased immediately as she thought of what she would face at the other side. Her squad was waiting for her. She didn't want them to be in the courtroom the moment she would be found guilty and guided out of the room. It would be too humiliating to see her getting cuffed on her way to jail. So she had asked them to wait outside. Right now it seemed stupid. She realised that they had seen her at her worse while being dragged out of the beach house where he had taken her. Or when they got her out of the granary with blood all over her face.

Her mind went back to him. Lewis had one goal in his life: to make sure she would never forget,to make sure that he would haunt her for her rest of her life. He had partially succeed. She would never forget,she couldn't. She had lost her sleep,her appetite, her ability to trust people,her dignity,her pride. But she had had enough. "You survived not once or twice,Olivia but three times in his clutches. The ordeal had changed you. It's up to you to decide if that change would be for the better or for the worse." And he was right. Dr Lindstrom helped her realize the inevitable of the situation. She had changed. She couldn't get back to her old self. That Olivia Benson had died last May. Now it was high time she rebuilt her new life,her new self.

She straightened her grey pencil skirt,took a deep breath and pushed the court room doors open. She was temporarily blinded by the sun light and put her sunglasses on to both protect her eyes from the sun and hide the black circles that not even the best make-up artist could mask.

She scanned her perimeter and easily spotted her squad. Nick,Fin,Amanda,Rafael even Lt. Murphy were gathered in a circle at the top stairs anxiously waiting for the verdict. She smiled brightly and walked faster to them. The first one who spotted her was the blonde Detective. Amanda pushed her partner and all four people turned their gaze at where she looked. Their anxious faces turned into delighted ones in mere seconds when they saw Sergeant Olivia Benson walking to their direction.

Surprisingly Murphy was the first one to close the little distance between them and her. He met her halfway and pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged him back hesitantly while he spoke with his warm raspy voice:"It's nice to have you back,Sergeant"

She pulled back and smiled genuinely at him. "It's good to be back"

"Hey,Lt. don't be selfish. Let us see our Sergeant" Fin got in the way and before Olivia could protest she was wrapped in his arms.

"I missed you,baby girl"he said rather loudly. Lt. Murphy couldn't suppress a light laughter at the nick name he used. Olivia whispered something back to him and he released her.

"I heard you laughing Lieutenant" Fin said with a warning yet playful look on his face. Then Amanda,Rafael and Nick took their turn to hug Olivia. She accepted their hugs and tender words and felt so grateful for the support they offered even if she had never asked any. When the hugs and laughter were over Rita Calhoun approached the group.

"You did good,Counselor" Barba said shaking her hand.

"Well,she wasn't you but she indeed worked her magic in there"Olivia said smiling thankfully at her.

"I know,I know I am phenomenal"Rafael said jokingly and they all burst into laughter for once more. Counselor said her good byes as the team of six headed for the stairs getting themselves ready to face the media frenzy taking place at sidewalk.

That's when she spotted him leaning slightly at the pile looking intently at her. Her breath hitched at her throat and she looked back at him,her brown eyes meeting his blue ones. Nick was the first one to spot him and unconsciously put a protective arm around his partner. Fin saw him,too. Murphy on the other hand had no clue about the man staring at his team. "Do we know him?"he asked no one in particular.

Before anyone had the chance to answer Olivia turned around violently facing them.

"I'll catch you up at the precinct"she announced in a matter of fact way.

"No need to,Benson. You have the day off. Expecting you back tomorrow morning at 8 a.m." Murphy said back. She thanked him and made her excuses while she watched them walking down the stairs the reporters blocking their way.

Before she realized it he was right beside her. He smiled hesitantly at her and she surprised both of them by giving him a light kiss on his cheek. They stared at each other not saying a word,taking in each others presence. It's been both a short and a long time since they've seen each other,yet it felt like not a second had passed. They momentarily forgot about how they had left things and linked their hands together holding on each other for dear life. Their foreheads touched and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"I am sorry it took me so long to get to you. I booked the first flight from Chicago as soon as I heard about what happened" he whispered softly as he caressed her hair.

"You didn't have to. I am fine"she said a little more harshly than she intended. He tensed at her words and immediately regretted his actions. She was right. He didn't have to. They had taken different roads in their lives and maybe he had no right to show up like that. But he couldn't stop himself from coming to find her,he wanted to know what had happened,why she had almost died. He needed so badly to see her beautiful face,look at her big chocolate eyes. He took his hand away from her hair and detached his other hand from hers as he tried to create a distance between them.

She immediately cursed under her breath. She shouldn't have been so hard. He was here because he wanted to. He still cared. She still cared deeply for him,too. After everything they've through she couldn't help but have strong feelings for him.

"Do you wanna talk somewhere more private?"she asked hopefully. He looked at her and a light smile appeared on his face.

"That would be nice. What about our usual place?"

"It's better if we head at my apartment"she said while linking her hand with his and guiding him to the stairs. They walked through the swarm of reporters and he put a hand around her as if trying to protect her from the million questions. They made it to the sidewalk,got into a taxi and blocked their surroundings as they slammed the door shut heading to her place.

**_So,what do you think? It's propably obvious who he is but I am still messing with you, just a little bit. Lol Don't worry the blue eyed man will be identified on the next chapter. _**

**_Till then...read and let me know what you think._**

**_ ~JoyfulRiri xxx_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi,again! I promised a quick update so here it is! chapter 2 is up! Who is this blue eyed man? Read & find out!**_**  
**_

_**Enjoy & Review!**_

She unlocked the door of her apartment and held it open for him with her right side. He got in and he was instantly filled with a feeling of nostalgia. This place used to be his, theirs. He scanned the living and dining room area. Some selves were empty. Their pictures were nowhere to be found. The only reminiscent of his past presence was the infamous cow skull. He chuckled sadly at the memory of her trying to convince him to get rid of it. His eyes got glassy and he suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotions.

Olivia had gotten rid of her high heels and her suit leaving her with a light purple silk shirt and her pencil skirt. She looked at him and was instantly drown in his hazel eyes that were now full of tears. She was be his side in a second. She caressed his face brushing off the tears that now started flowing on his cheeks. Olivia was somewhat surprised by his reaction. She had never seen him in such an emotional turmoil and she felt guilty of his current state.

He just couldn't stop the tears from making paths down his face. It pained him so much that he wasn't living in this apartment with her. He wanted to say many things to her, explain himself but he couldn't form a word.

She hugged him tightly and he felt her heartbeat against his. Soon he felt his shirt getting damp at his shoulder. She was crying. He tangled his hand in her perfectly curled brown hair and the familiar gesture brought more tears to her. He pulled her face up so that they could have eye contact. Their gazes locked and they stood there,at the middle of the living room for what felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes.

She gently cupped his face and brushed her lips on his. He took a hasty breath but didn't pull away. He closed the distance between them by putting his lips on hers. It wasn't a kiss at first. Their lips touched unmoved and after a while he captured hers in the most soft yet passionate kiss she had ever experienced. She kissed him back with every fiber of her being as he caressed her hair. She begged him for access in his mouth,which he gladly granted. Her tongue battled with his while she moaned softly. She then started unbuttoning his shirt never leaving his lips. He pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

"Liv,are you sure you want this to happen?"he questioned not wanting to push her any further.

She captured his lips again and mumbled: "Bri,make love to me just like the old times,before my abduction,before anything got in the way and ruined our happiness." She released his lips and made eye contact.

"Please,Bri I need you"

He needed no other word. He picked her up as she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist the best she could with her skirt on the way. Their lips met once more hungrily as he guided her into the all familiar bedroom and gently placed her on the bed not breaking the kiss.

Their clothes were discarded on the floor while they worked in each other's bodies worshipping every inch,every mark and scar.

Their love making lasted till the early hours of the evening when they fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms their hearts beating in sync.

**So...yes of course it's Brian. I am sorry if you tthought of Elliot but this is a Bensidy story. Reviews are joy so let me know what you think. Thanks for your support & kind words. They mean the world to me!**

**Chapter 3 will be up soon!**

**Till then..take care,fellows! ~ XXX JoyfulRiri**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey,fellows! The 3rd & last chapter of my story is up! Well,lot of tears are going to follow but everything will turn out Ok,right? ? ?_**

**_Read &find out! Enjoy & review,guys!_**

Her eyes fluttered open and it took her a moment to remember where she was. She looked at his sleeping figure and smiled contently. Sure they needed to sort things out any time soon but she knew something for good: she wanted Brian in her life. She needed him. Period.

_I've seen the world done it all , I had my cake now._

She looked at the digital clock across the night table. 21.34. It had been three hours of sleep that she hadn't jolted awake because of a nightmare. She smiled again thinking that his presence here was enough to keep the evil thoughts away.

She slowly climbed out of bed careful not to wake him up. She shivered under the cold air that made contact with her naked body and searched in the dark for Brian's shirt. She found it on the floor and quickly put it on smelling his cologne mixed with his natural scent.

She padded softly on the floor and felt something pressed under her foot. She reached down and was met with his jeans' pocket. Well,it's better if I don't poke my nose into his business,she thought. But the Detective in her urged her to find out what she had stepped on. She touched something made by a soft material. She took it out of his pocket and was met by a tiny velvet box. Now curiosity got the better of her. She opened the box to come face to face with a diamond cut ring.

_Diamonds brilliant, in Bel Air now_

She gasped softly and her mind was flooded by a million questions. Is this for me?Is Brian working on a proposal? His soft voice got her out of her reverie.

"You know,this was supposed to be a surprise,but well,now you discovered my plans...I knew I should have put it somewhere else" She looked at him teary eyed and he motioned her to come to bed. She sat beside him and looked between him and the closed box as she spoke shyly.

"Is this for me?" He nobbed smiling and she spoke again.

"Bri,do you still love me?" He chocked on his tears and hugged her tightly. As he rocked her gently he spoke determined to let her know his feelings for her.

"Liv,I can't stop loving you. I have always loved you and always will"he whispered softly. She pulled away from his embrace and looked him dead in his eyes."Always,Liv"he answered her untold question. She smiled contently and captured his lips in a sweet kiss,which he returned willingly kissing her back with passion.

When they broke the kiss he took the box from her hand,got out of bed and kneeled in front of her while she watched intently his every move. He cleared his troat and nervously fumbled with the box. He opened it to reveal once again the diamond ring and started the speech he had rehearsed many times the last months:

"Liv we've met fifteen years ago and since then you have stolen my heart. I can't thank God enough for bringing you into my life again two years ago. We pursued a relationship,started dating,we have gone through hell and back, we have shared this apartment for 6 months and unfortunately we grew apart,Liv. We decided to a mutual breakup but these past 7 weeks I have been so miserable. I had a lot of thinking and I realized that I can't live without you. I don't want us to be apart anymore."he took a deep breath and before she could say anything he went on.

"Olivia,I want to grow old with you and I need nothing more than to be able to hold you at night,wake up to see your beautiful face, share my every day life with you. No one can make me happy the way you do,Liv...And you know I'd love to run behind a miniature you or me in a couple of years,because this little one will be the creature we made of our love. And I want everyone to know how much I love you... Olivia Benson will you make me the luckiest man in this universe by marrying my sorry ass?"he asked smiling while teardrops made their way to his cheeks.

She was left speechless. She opened her mouth but couldn't form a word. She had imagined this moment so many times but now it seemed so much better that in her fantasies. Did she love him?Yes. Did she want to spent the rest of her life with Brian? Yes. It was that simple. She didn't want to have any negative thoughts right now. She couldn't think of how difficult her lives could get,because she didn't care at all. As long as she had him everything would work out.

She must have been thinking a lot because he got up,closed the box and tried to compose himself. "It's ok,Liv. You don't have to say yes and regret it later"he said trying to sound cheerful but failed miserably. He headed out of the bedroom only to be stopped by her. She pulled him in for a sweet,tender kiss and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders.

"Don't even doubt for a second that I love you. Ask me again?"she requested sweetly. Brian brushed his lips on hers and smiled broadly. He opened the velvet box and asked on a wavering voice: "Olivia,will you be my wife?"

"Yes,Brian I will be your wife. I'll marry you"she said happily her voice laced with emotion as he slipped the diamond ring on her shaking finger. It was elegant and classy yet discrete. The way it was supposed to be.

_Hot summer nights mid July_

_When you and I were forever wild_

_The crazy days,city lights_

_The way you'd play with me like a child_

She admired the ring that shown at the city's lights while he carried her bridal style to the bed. She giggled delightfully and pecked his lips playfully. He set her down and laid on top of her. Their eyes locked as he slowly started undoing the buttons of his shirt,leaving her body completely exposed to his touch. He gently ran his palms on her sides and touched with his finger tips the scars that were a constant reminder of her ordeal.

"I wish they never existed"she whispered quietly.

"They show that you're a survivor,these scars show you're fearless. You are the strongest woman I have ever met but you don't have to be strong all the time, Liv. Because now you have me to worry and take care of you,babe" he whispered softly.

"You're truly beautiful" he said in her ear while caressing her naked body. His touch sent shivers down her spine and she moaned softly.

_Will_ _you_ _still_ _love_ _me_ _when_ _I_ _am_ _no_ _longer_ _young_ _and_ _beautiful_?

Theirs lips met again and moved in perfect sync while theirs bodies moved at a slow rhythm and they ravished each other's flesh. Their hearts beat rapidly against their chest full of true love for their other half.

_Will_ _you_ _still_ _love_ _when_ _I_ _got_ _nothing_ _but_ _my_ _aching_ soul?

Their souls filled with overwhelmed joy that they had finally made it to their mate.

_Will_ _you_ _still_ _love_ _me_ _when_ _I_ _am_ _no_ _longer_ _beautiful_?

They fall asleep once again with content smiles on both their faces while they dreamt about their newfound life. Their life as husband and wife,as father and mother of their love children,as two soulmates on their way to true happiness.

_I know you will,I know you will,I know that you will._

**_So...that's it, fellows. Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! _****_I love you all and thank you for your encouragement!_**

**_Stay tuned for an update to my Bensaro fic!_**

**_ Till then... take care,guys! ~JoyfulRori xxx_**

**_Lyrics: Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey_**


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